Friday, September 29, 2006

Square Peg, Round Hole

Mommy circles. We all know they exist, but its sort of the big elephant in the room, that no one will acknowledge. And they can be just as vicious, if not more than, the girl circles from high school, who just never grew up.

Me? I've always wanted to be a mommy. I dreamed of the day. But I also swore to never look like a "mommy". I used to chide my own mother about her clothes & change of hair styles, once she became mama-fied. The hair got short, the clothes were a little less fitted. But she was still in there. Her heart was the same. Hell, even her body was pretty much the same, but the persona changed. I swore that one part of my mom, I never wanted to follow. I guess you could say that MILF status is a high priority for me. So what? Sexy should not leave because of the birth of a child.

Enter "mommy circles". They do the hug hug, kiss kiss "How are you, hun? You look so great! We need to get our kids together more often!" lines. But I don't feel like I'm "one of them". Imagine Nicole Kidman's character on Stepford Wives, as she's meeting the "other women". Something just doesn't feel right. I don't belong. They whisper. They do the up & down look. Hold UP! I do the whispering around here! I, in my fitted tattoo T, skinny denim mini, and biker boots. How am I supposed to "fit in"?

Well, call me selfish or plastic, but I'd rather not fit in, if it meant giving up a piece of who I am.

Here in lies the dillema: I desperately want the friendships for Chloe. And secretly? I want a great friendship, too. I have a great friendship with Mr. 6PackAbs, but we all know its just not the same as those great girlfriend bonds.

I'm learning that those kind of friendships will not be found in circles like these. Now that its taken all these years to not only discover who I am, but embrace it, I will not fold. I'll happily stand alone, in my kitten heels or biker boots, holding my Chloe, tightly.

posted by Berklie at 10:20 AM | Permalink

1 Whispers:

At 5:07 PM, Blogger Angelina

I so understand where you are coming from. I feel the same. Women around here just give up on themselves and it's sad. I have one or two girls/mommas I've met who keep it real but our lives are way different and it's hard to get together.

It's lonely being a mom.


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