It's Been A Long Time....
I am a horrible incognito blogger.
Life with Mr. Knightly is better. But every time I say that, something happens.
For instance, not that long ago I was having an email conversation with Angelina. And I was telling her that things were a lot better with Mr. Knightly. Which was true. Which is true... despite what occurred just days after telling her that.
Basically what happened is we got into a major fight about, OF COURSE, something that I did that pissed him off. ~gasp~ Shocker. This time the fight was about how Mr. Knightly has to wake me up almost, but not quite, every day and how he thinks that is the most annoying and unnecessary thing in the entire world.
A little background:
I don't sleep well at night because of many reasons. One is that I am somewhat of an insomniac. Another is that in my family, sleepiness runs rampant. And the last is that when I was 19 I was sexually assaulted in the middle of the night by my brother in law. (Long story... I'm sure I'll go into it another time. Just know that I was on muscle relaxers at the time, so the jerk thought that I wouldn't wake up.)
Because of all these reasons, I am very very sleepy and just starting to get REM sleep by the time 6 or 7am rolls around. Unfortunately, over the years of being married to Mr. Knightly, I have learned to sleep through his alarm because up until recently I haven't had to get up at the same time that he does. (He's hated that and he thinks I should get up with him whether I have to or not.)
And now onto the actual fight.
Mr. Knightly HATES having to wake me up because I almost never wake up the first time. And he doesn't think that any "grown up" should have to be woken up. The other day he had to wake me up, yet again, and he lost it. He went off on me about how lazy and irresponsible I am and how I act like a kid most of the time and blah blah blah. Yeah. When Mr. Jerkly comes out to play, he seriously does a number on me. He completely attacks my character and then wonders why I won't talk to him for three days. He also could care less that I cry. And I hate crying in front of Jerkly. I think it just fuels his fire even more.
Anyway. The end result of this fight was him going off on me some more and then declaring that I don't even try to get up because I really don't give a crap that it bothers him so badly. Well ladies, this declaration of his could not be farther from the actual truth. The truth is that I am constantly trying to get up with him or before him. I have tried numerous times to become a person who can consistently get up on time in the morning. And I consistently fail.
I truly don't know why I fail. Maybe I really don't care enough to change. Maybe this sleepiness is all in my genes and made worse by the fact that I take pain medication on a daily basis, so trying to change is a waste of time because it will never happen. Like I said, I really don't know why I fail, I just know that I try and try and try to change. If I could avoid having this fight with Jerkly, I WOULD. I swear. I would give ANY.THING to be able to get Jerkly to shut the hell up about this subject. Really. Anything.
I could sit here and wish all I want for him to finally understand.
I could sit here and wish that all the sudden he would decide that waking me up in the morning is not that big of a deal and he is actually doing me a favor.
But you know... wishing has never gotten me anywhere before.
So I'll keep trying to change.
Because I just want him to shut. up.
Labels: fights with jerkly