Dear Mr. 6PackAbs,
Yes, yes, yes.... I know that you know how to rock my world, BUT please! For the love of all that's holy (this includes my nose, my sinuses, & my appetite)... I beg of you. The next time you want to save a buck or two, do NOT do it by buying the cheap-ass, generic bag of dogfood that reeks havoc on my poor old dog's gut. Which makes the air in my home unable to be covered by even the strongest of air deodorizers & candles combined.
Please. Penny-pinch elsewhere.
You are effectively running off all my friends, which also runs off all of Chlo's playdates. Seriously. Must you squeak when you walk? I still love you, but come now. You are literally killing me. With toxic gases.

Kiss kiss,
Berk